Release schedule plans
Gervase Markham
gerv at mozilla.org
Tue Jan 11 20:37:51 UTC 2005
> When evaluating rudeness it's really only a personal opinion, because
> there are no general accepted criterias for classifying things as rude
> or not. Only general guidelines :-) that vary from culture to culture.
You can't use that to conclude that therefore rudeness doesn't exist.
The obvious measure of rudeness is whether the person you are talking to
considers it rude. I think that Dave's comment that he hasn't said
anything in this discussion yet because he can't trust himself not to
get into a flamewar speaks volumes about how you have made him feel.
> More, what you said about "working together" seemed like the mit of
> "people have to like each other, be buds/friends/blood brothers in order
> to work together", a nit that appeared on my evaluation as a harming
> thing to the Bugzilla development.
A person definitely works better with another person if they don't have
hostile or resentful feelings towards them. I'm extremely surprised that
you disagree that an atmosphere of cordiality and respect is an
important part of any team.
>> But I finally realised that people just can't do that.
>
> That's a general statement. :-) People can try, and that is what should
> everybody should do.
If people had perfect control over their emotional reactions to things,
then this might be possible. But they don't. And even if they did, what
you would be saying here is that "I am not going to take the time to
present my arguments in a polite fashion, and so everyone else needs to
make an effort to carefully hold their emotions in check and ignore my
rudeness."
Again, I used to feel this way (although I wouldn't have expressed it
like that), but I found that people don't do this, because it's a great
deal of effort. It's much easier for them to just think "wow, I don't
like the way that person said things; they can't have anything important
to say" and ignore you. And that's what people did to me.
> If you want to write my email to me "now", please
> do it in private without steering the discussion towards emotional
> issues.
I'm not emailing you in private partly because I think this discussion
is of interest to other members of the list, and partly because I hope
that everyone will read about my mistakes in the past in this area and
not make them themselves.
Gerv
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